The Polyamory Handbook for Monogamous People: Tip 2 Keep having sex

Sunday, September 21st, 2014

Sometimes polyamorous people are on display and /or criticized because it’s clear that sex is a high priority for them. But for all you monogamous people check this out—according to several studies sex improves your marriage and even your health. And not having sex with your spouse puts you at risk for having an unhappy marriage. According to this article in the Huffington Post

“Researchers Adena Galinsky and Linda J. Waite from the University of Chicago…found that men and women who were sexually inactive or engaged in very little sexual activity reported lower levels of marital satisfaction, whereas couples who had more frequent sexual encounters (including any sexual act, not just intercourse) had happier, more positive marriages.”

The article also advises not to define sex the Bill Clinton way (purely penetration) because as we get older we need to create sexual intimacy in more expansive ways—so we can keep doing it as we age or go through health issues. I like this line of thinking—make sex a priority. I see so many people forgetting to make space for romance.

This is a great article for the married crazies among us (myself included) According to research if you tend to be a bit neurotic (believe me I sat up at full alert when I read that opening line) but have regular sex with your spouse—your spouse doesn’t notice or mind your nuttiness as much. I can vouch for this one, if you are making ecstatic love in the bedroom you can be a bit wacko in other parts of the house—trust me on this one—I am a bona fide expert.

“…According to (researchers) Michelle Russell and James McNulty of the University of Tennessee…neurotic newlyweds who had lots of sex were just as satisfied with their marriages as their less neurotic counterparts were, according to the study published in the October 2010 issue of the quarterly journal Social Psychological and Personality Science.”

This article is a cheerleading squad of reasons to get it on–“Why you should have sex more often” by Sheri Stritof, studies are showing a multitude of benefits from more sex. Here’s just a few from the article:

* Boosts self esteem.

* Makes a person feel younger.

* Firms tummy and buttocks. (and I might add is more fun than a stairmaster)

* Keeps spouses connected emotionally. (Try sex when you are fighting too much)

* Gives people a positive attitude on life.

* Improves fitness level. (and you don’t have to hire a personal trainer!)

* Makes a person less irritable.

* Reduced depression. (better than Prozac and no nasty side effects)

* Has a therapeutic effect on immune system.

* Relieves stress.

* Helps people sleep better.

I concur! Having sex is the perfect stimulant and also sedative–and improves your relationship. So people, go have sex!

Add that to the polyamory handbook!

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